My Guilt

For all my short attention span followers, this is for you.

I am 100% positive that this is not a complete list. I have so many things that I love that I have been told are “bad” for me in one way or another. Even if I haven’t been told they are bad, that is the insinuation, collective opinion, and internal dialogue that assaults my otherwise happy go lucky sense of self. The end result, however, is guilt, guilt, guilt.

1.  McDonald’s and other fast food. Love it. It’s poison, I should be making homemade kale and lima bean salad with a spritz of olive oil with an organic, freshly caught fish bouillabaisse soup, but I don’t. I do make semi-nutritious homemade meals 4 or 5 out of 7 nights a week, but you will see me in the drive-thru, too.

2.  Diet pop and/or pop. Never read anything that says it’s good for you.  It’s just good, period.  I enjoy it.  I don’t go overboard, but I have one a day usually.  I have an old friend who was also addicted to diet coke who said, “I’ll probably grow a green glowing tail from all the aspartame.”  Frankly, it wouldn’t surprise me.

3.  My 600 LB Life, Hoarders, Sister Wives, etc…it’s not like I DVR them, but I will watch them if they are on.  I don’t get into the Bachelor shows, dancing shows, housewives, or most of the ones where rich people act stupid, but for whatever reason, I enjoy several TLC “reality” shows, they intrigue me. Sue me. I also watch “smart” TV, like Modern Family and The Middle 🙂

4. Facebook. I came onto the scene late with FB, I stayed off for a couple of years on principle. Not sure what principle it was, but I was standing my ground, damnit. I like the interaction on FB, I like keeping in touch with old friends and family far away.  It makes it easy for me to reach a large audience quickly. Not everything I do on there has a larger purpose though, a lot of times it’s just mindless fun.

5. 50 Shades of Gray.  I’m reading it. Again. I saw the movie, too. I enjoyed it. I read purely for pleasure, an escape from MY reality.  I enjoy many genres of books, but mostly I will only pick up a book if it truly will entertain me.  I spent 6 years in higher education, I’m done educating myself. (And randomly, I also loved Brokeback Mountain, I thought it was a very touching love story.)

6. Cell phone.  See Facebook above. Addicted–enough said.

Most of my adult life I have been guided by the opinion umbrella, everything in moderation. Some may feel the things I enjoy are evil, some may think they are no big deal at all. It’s all relative. But just think about how many times a day you do or don’t do something that you feel guilty about. I don’t smoke, I think it’s gross and the chances it would kill me are pretty good. So I don’t smoke. But I admit, I look at people who smoke and say “what is wrong with you?” So am I guilty of making those people feel guilty!?!?!  It’s a horrific circle of guilt! Oh God! Am I wrong for not drawing that SAME line in the sand for fast food or pop for myself? Am I foolish for enjoying FB and not reading history books and becoming a more well rounded person? Where does the madness end?!?!

My point?  I guess I just want to sit back, have a diet coke and Big Mac, watch some rated R porn and browse FB for 2 hours on my cell phone. And I don’t want to feel guilty about it.  Who is with me?


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